Last updated:

December 11, 2023


 min read

How to talk to your partner about Erectile Dysfunction

My boyfriend has erectile dysfunction, what should I do? We hear you and are here to help. Click to know more!

Reviewed by
Reyana D’Souza
Written by
Malvika Rathi

Erectile dysfunction is a common sexual health problem. It occurs when you are unable to achieve or maintain an erection strong enough to engage in pleasurable intercourse. It may also result in decreased sexual desire for the affected person and their partners. 

Erectile dysfunction is often viewed as a personal issue by males. However, ED impacts more than just those who have it; it also affects their partners. It's crucial to understand that most guys experience ED at some point in their lives.

How can Erectile Dysfunction impact your relationship? 

Many men take immense pride in their sexual performance, and when they are unable to fulfil their desires, it lowers their self-esteem. It's widely acknowledged that the calibre of your relationships is significantly influenced by your feelings of self-worth.

Relationship issues brought on by ED can manifest in critical ways. Several men are reluctant to tell their partners because they fear disappointing them. They are also worried that their partners will leave them. When it comes to heterosexual relationships, female partners of people with ED have described feeling undesirable and concerned that their partner is seeing someone else. This could potentially develop into anxiety and depression

Losing the spark 

There are numerous causes of ED, such as underlying health conditions, excessive pornographic consumption, and psychological issues. To add to the list is losing the fireworks in your relationship. The butterflies of the first kiss and first sexual experience won't stay around forever. 

Over the years, the excitement will start to wear off. In the process, deprioritising sex can have consequences such as:

  • impacting libido or causing a couple's sexual desires to be out of sync 
  • increasing pressure on the times you do have sex
  • causing a spouse to feel unloved or abandoned

One of the above-listed reasons might lead to erectile dysfunction. 

The Honeymoon Syndrome

Dealing with erectile dysfunction in a new relationship is complicated. It's typical for men to experience erectile dysfunction at the start of a marriage, which is sometimes known as "honeymoon syndrome" or "honeymoon impotence." 

Anxiety, stress, cultural demands, and a large buildup can all be involved with first-time sex, wedding night sex, and honeymoon sex. Consequently, psychological erection issues may develop. Read on to find out how to talk to your partner about it. 

How to bring up erectile dysfunction with a man?

A sexual partner is generally the first to detect slight changes in a partner's erection intensity and regularity. It's crucial that you feel at ease discussing any changes you see with your partner.

Starting the discussion from a medical perspective may also emphasise that ED has underlying reasons, taking away any potential blame for erectile dysfunction. This is crucial because Sexual Performance Anxiety—the worry that you won't live up to your partner's expectations during sex—can be harmful.

It is very important to approach your partner delicately but also with utmost honesty. You can start by establishing how important this concern is to you. Sexual Health experts recommend not bringing up the subject in bed or right after the problem has surfaced. 

Here are some quick pointers which might help make the conversation easy:

  • Getting into the conversation in a comfortable environment, such as over a weekend breakfast 
  • Keep some wine and snacks on the table, as they might help in filling the awkward pauses during the conversation 
  • Stay informed on Erectile Dysfunction so that you can offer genuine and valuable advice 

Adding the extra emotional touch can do wonders as well. For instance, you can emphasise how you just can't get enough of your partner, and you'd like for the intercourse to last longer. 

My boyfriend has ED and won't touch me. What should I do?

It is quite possible that your boyfriend/husband is in denial about erectile dysfunction and acts defensively. This is probably because they are embarrassed, and you shouldn't push them too hard. However, don't consider dropping it entirely because ED requires a team effort to fight it!

The way you approach the subject matters. If your partner gets mad and avoids the conversation, drop it for the time being, but also add that you need to discuss it at a better time. Additionally, you can reassure them that they are attractive and that you want to engage in this conversation to help them because the relationship means a lot to you. 

If your partner denies having a problem, even if you know they do, gently lead the conversation with research or educational resources. Sometimes, the conversation might not go as you have planned, and there could also be other reasons, such as premature ejaculation, which needs to be addressed before going behind the sexual issues.

Is Erectile Dysfunction a marriage breaker?

A marriage can endure impotence. Keep in mind that the phrase "through sickness and in health" applies to erectile function as well. 

There are many strategies you may use to deal with ED in a marriage, improve erections, and maintain intimacy with your partner. These strategies include open communication, reigniting the spark, and removing the focus on penetrative sex.

Final Word

The good news is that with medicine and certain lifestyle adjustments, many causes of erectile dysfunction can be resolved. The most crucial step in treating your ED as effectively as possible is determining its underlying cause.

ED is something that shouldn't be ignored and should be addressed immediately. We understand that opening up about it seems daunting, but our medical professionals are here to help. You can now access quality and non-judgement care from the comfort of your home. Schedule a consultation with us today using the link below! 

P.S. With our discreet and timely delivery of ED treatments, you can leave all your worries to us!